Naive
by Allethia
Summary: Vlad chickens out of confessing to Robin and somehow winds up going on a date with a girl in school. So obviously Ingrid and Robin have to follow them...
1. Chapter 1

I am on my summer holibags at last!!!! And whilst I am on holiday, I have rediscovered Young Dracula and have been sitting watching it on youtube. Healthy. I know

Disclaimer: Don't own Young Dracula

Without further ado, I present to you :

**Naïve (Part One)**

**Sometimes, Robin hated Vlad. **

**He was too innocent. He complained about his father being stuck in the seventeenth century, but he wasn't much better. Sure he was a quick learner, it had only taken him a few weeks to stop saying chilly instead of cool, but there was still so much Vlad didn't understand about teenagers in Britain. He didn't know many T.V programmes, didn't own a computer or even a radio.**

**All Vlad talked about was being normal, but he didn't understand that he could never be normal, not even if he did become human. He was too different, he knew things others didn't know. What Robin hated most about Vlad though, was that he didn't understand love.**

**When his brothers wound them up about being "Gay", Vlad thought that being too happy was a bad thing in Britain, when the boys at school boasted about the girls they'd "had", Vlad looked on bemused. He had later asked Robin if, when they said "had" they meant "Had round for tea" **

**In fact, Robin was willing to bet that Vlad didn't even do the thing that all bored teenage boys (Apparently) do! Even Chloe! His little sister! Understood more about the "Birds and the bees" than Vlad did.**

**So when Vlad had invited him for a sleepover, he hadn't expected anything other than the usual avoidance of Count in a bad mood. He certainly hadn't expected Vlad to begin blushing and announce to Robin that he was in love. **

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**As usual, Vlad had chickened out. He had been meaning too confess to Robin, but had panicked at the last minute and told him he was in love with "someone". Robin probably thought it was one of the girls in school, or a girl the Count had set him up with or something. How could Vlad tell him it was Robin? Robin probably didn't even know that it was possible for a guy to love another guy! That kind of thing certainly didn't happen in Britain! (This is how "naïve" Vlad is) It happened in Transylvania all the time, it was surprisingly common for vampires to use their pheromones to attract people of the same sex.**

**When Vlad had announced that he liked someone, Robin had blinked at him a few times in pure shock, his mouth hanging open like a fish.**

"**Vlad!! You do have feelings!!!!!" He practically had tears in his eyes. Vlad had felt so ashamed. Poor innocent Robin, unaware of the impure things Vlad was thinking of doing to him. Robin had begun talking at high speed.**

"**Have you asked her out? If you haven't maybe you shouldn't until we've asked Chloe's advice. If you have where and when and how???? Ohh Vlad! I'm so proud! You finally have a chance of getting your end away!" **

**This last statement had had Vlad blinking at Robin in confusion**

"**What does that mean?! I've heard other boys using it but I didn't really know what it meant??"**

**Again Robin was staring at him but this time it was a different kind of shock. "You mean you don't know?…. I'll tell you when you're older."**

END OF PART ONE

So what did you think? All the phrases the guys use are all some off the nice phrases the boys in my school use. And that thing that all boys apparently do? I got that little nugget from one of my male friends. If you don't know what it is you're too young too be reading this fic.

If it's a bit weird please remember that I am a teenaged girl and not a teenaged boy so it's a bit hard for me to get in their mindset!


	2. Chapter 2

Bonjour! I'm back again with another chapter to Naïve. I reckon it's gonna have maybe 4 chapters? Maybe 5.

Summary: Vlad's in love with Robin but tells him its someone in school instead

**Naïve (Part Two)**

"So who is it then? Who is it that has captured the great vampire "Vladimir Dracula's" heart?" Asked Robin grinning.

Vlad blushed a deep red.

"Is it someone in school then?" Questioned the vampire obsessed boy. Vlad nodded miserably. Well it was true wasn't it? Robin was in Vlad's school.

"Vlad. You're going to have to throw me a bone here. It's like talking to Lassie! Who is it?" Robin asked losing his patience.

Vlad said the first thing that came into his head. "Annie Roberts."

Annie Robertson was a quiet girl ,in their class at school, with red hair and glasses. She had never been mean to Vlad, but she hadn't exactly gone out of her way to welcome him either. But her name popped up and like an idiot, Vlad had blurted it out. Why hadn't he said someone unavailable? Like someone a few years above or someone who already had a boyfriend?

"Right. I'll ask her out for you on Monday." announced Robin, like Vlad knew he would.

"Please don't Robin! It'll make things worse!" Vlad said, hoping against hope that, for once, Robin would listen to him.

"What could be bad about asking her out? At best she'll say yes, at worst, she turns you down. And if she turns you down, then that means no-one at school calls you gay anymore, because at least you've asked someone out!"

"So gay means liking other guys then?" asked Vlad. Suddenly so many things made sense! Like the insults! Now the insults made sense! Why Vlad was so happy about insults making sense, he had no idea.

"Yeah. But it's not like we're gay or anything. It's just stupid boys making bad insults." said Robin.

" This way, if she turns you down, you don't have to ask anyone out again, because you could say you were too traumatised by being turned down!" (This was actually an excuse a friend used when she asked someone out for a shy girl. Poor girl. She ended up going out with him, but he refused to even hold her hand. So that was one boyfriend down the drain…)

Vlad didn't know anyway of turning down Robin without seeming strange or having to give an good excuse, and he was too tired for that. He just had to shrug his shoulders and hope Annie didn't agree to go out with him.

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"Annie? Do you want to go out with Vlad?" Robin had dragged Vlad up to Annie as soon as the bell had gone. Annie glanced from the strange boy in the leather jacket to the slightly smaller boy behind him. Vlad looked kind of like he was praying.

"Sure." She shrugged. "Why not?" Vlad almost deflated. It was the three words he had NOT been hoping to hear. He sighed. No getting out of it now. He would just have to hope it would be an awful date.

"I'll come by your house tomorrow at about 8 OK?" He asked. She nodded and walked off.

"Well, well. Our little Vladdie all grown up. He even has a date! I'm soo proud." He heard a sarcastic voice behind him say. Vlad braced himself for the worst and turned around. There she was the wannabe Princess Of Darkness holding court behind him. "Don't worry Vladdie. I'll be sure to tell Dad ALL about this!" she cackled and walked off, Robins brothers following like sheep behind her.

"Your sister is evil." said Robin. "She is very pretty though."

Vlad sighed. He had to prepare for the worse.

**End Of Part Two**

So was it okay? Or did it make you want to gouge out your eyes and scream in pain awful?

So did anyone get the Annie Robertson joke? Or was it a bit too obscure?

I shall reveal the joke in the last chapter. Have an ice-lolly if you get it right but don't worry if you don't cause it wasn't a very good joke.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Vlad has to go on a date with (Shock! Horror!) A girl!!!**

**I now present to you:**

**Naïve (Part Three)**

**Vlad rang the doorbell for the second time and stared at the bouquet of flowers he was holding in disgust. If Annie didn't hurry up, the flowers might start withering. If only she had turned him down! He could have gone back to pining after Robin in peace! **

**As it was, Ingrid and Robin had gone slightly nuts in making him look "presentable" His father and Renfield had hovered in the background with one of their banners, he didn't know where they got them, singing about Vlad finally becoming a man. **

**As he was leaving the castle, Robin had stuffed these stupid flowers in Vlads hands and told him he was proud of him. It had practically broken Vlads heart. He knew that even if Robin was aware of Vlads feelings, he could never reciprocate them. He sighed again. What was taking that girl so long?**

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**Back at the castle, Robin and Ingrid were receiving their final instructions.**

"**So I press this button to record right?" asked Robin. He had been preparing to leave the castle after Vlad had left, but the Count and Ingrid had held him back.**

"**Not so fast boy. You are Vlads friend are you not? If so it is your moral obligation to follow him and make sure that he does not do anything untoward to this girl, like walking her to her door and giving her a kiss on the cheek. He should be bringing her back here so we can feast!" The Count had began cackling madly and Robin had decided that now would be a good time to leave. **

"**Boy!" The Count had thundered. " Take my useless wench of a daughter with you when you are watching over my son!" Ingrid looked thunderous**

"**What!?! I am not going anywhere with that breather!" The Count had looked at her pityingly.**

"**Ingrid…."**

"**Yes Daddy?" she had asked eagerly. "I will give you charge of the camera. Robin shall be in charge of the camcorder. I wish for you to make a slideshow of "Vladdies First Date" using the materials in them."**

**The count had handed Robin a large video camera, and Renfield had instructed him in "The Art Of The Camcorder" Robin didn't have the heart to tell him he knew how a camcorder worked.**

"**Now leave my sight!" Thundered the count. "And be sure to bring back some good photos!"**

**The door had slammed shut, leaving Robin and Ingrid outside. She glanced at him.**

"**Well come on breather boy! I want to see how Vlad gets on as much as dad does! And I get the camcorder!" she had snatched it out of his hands, thrown him the camera and stalked off. Robin had to admit, he was interested in what was going to happen as well, but he wasn't sure his heart could stand it.**

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**At this moment in time, Vlad was sitting on an uncomfortable armchair, getting an uncomfortable lecture off of Annie's father, whilst feeling uncomfortable. Needless to say the atmosphere was... uncomfortable.**

"**Now boy. I expect you to pay for everything today. I expect you to open doors for my beautiful daughter and I expect you to not so much as look at another woman all the time you are out with her." Vlad nodded terrified. He would just have to keep his eyes closed during the film and hope the ticket seller wasn't a woman.**

"**ANNNIEEE! Get your arse down here! This nice young man has been waiting too long!!" screeched her mother. Vlad winced. His ears weren't used to such loud noises.**

**Annie clattered down the stairs. "Alright! Alright! I heard you the first time! God!"**

**Vlad stood up awkwardly and thrust the flowers at her. "Umm Thanks Vlad." blushed Annie**

"**Do you want to go now?" Vlad asked. Annie nodded and they left the house in silence**

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"**Right here they come" muttered Ingrid. She glanced at him from behind her binoculars. "Well take some pictures then!"**

**Robin quickly snapped a few shots. A few were of the bush they were hiding behind though. Photography was never his strong suit. **

"**If that idiot follows my timetable, like he should, that awful film starts at 2030 hours so they will be heading to the cinema first." Ingrid muttered. "And by the way, We're going as well. I can use my hypnosis to get us in for free, but you are buying your own popcorn!" **

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**Vlad couldn't help but feel like someone was watching them. He had felt prickles when they were in the cinema. And now that they were sitting on a bench, eating fish and chips, he couldn't help but feel it even more.**

**He and Annie discussed some of the finer points of the movie, well Annie did Vlad had hated every moment of the romantic shallow drivel. He bit into a chip viciously. If Robin had been here, they would have been laughing and chatting about Robins latest horror movie, not sitting enduring awkward silences.**

**He became aware that Annie had stopped chattering now and looked over at her. She was edging closer to him. He glanced down. Did she want one of his chips? She had her own.**

**Next thing he knew, Annie had pressed her lips to his clumsily. Her lips tasted of salt and vinegar.**

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**Ingrid was cackling and recording every bit of the kiss. Robin couldn't take any pictures. He was in shock. He hadn't expected anything like this to happen! Vlad appeared to be in shock as well. He had just sat there with eyes wide open for the whole kiss. **

**Annie had pulled back and was sitting next to him staring at her feet and blushing. **

"**I'm sorry. It's just that my mother told me that the best way to get a man was to make the first move! I'm sorry Vlad. I'm not really attracted to you! I just agreed to go out with you so my parents would get off my case! But I can sense that you don't really like me either do you?" **

**Vlad shook his head miserably. "I like someone else."**

**Annie sighed. "I thought as much. Is it Robin?" **

**Vlad nodded again**

**End Of Part Three**

**You can probably guess what happens next right? One more chapter to go!!**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey. You know the best way to cheer up when your feeling blue? Watch Atonement, and then listen to James Blunt and Damien Rice on repeat! It will send you into happiness clouds!!! (Sarcasm)

Final Part!!

Summary: Vlad has just admitted that he likes Robin to Annie, But unbeknownst to him, Robin and Ingrid heard every word.

I now present (Da da da dah!!!)

Naïve Part Four

Vlad walked back to the castle after his disaster of a date. Entering the grand hall, he saw his father, Renfield, Ingrid and Zoltan all staring at a television.

"What are you watching?" Vlad asked and staring at the screen, recognised his embarrassment of a kiss for all too see. With slushy music and with a pink tinge to it no less

"Ingrid! Were you following me?" he asked, blushing furiously.

"Don't judge me, I was just doing what our dearest father asked." Vlad glared at the count who waved from his relaxed position on his throne.

"Did you see what happened after that…?" Vlad asked, hoping against hope that

A) She hadn't and

B) If she had, she hadn't put it on the slideshow.

The slideshow had moved on now, to Vlad and Annie leaving the house. It slowly faded away to show them at the cinema buying tickets.

"No. I didn't put your little confession in the slideshow, but I didn't tell you that someone else was spying on you." Ingrid hissed.

"Robin" said Vlad, knowing it to be a statement rather than a question.

"Exactly! He heard every word you and that ginger breather said! He's waiting in your room, if you want to be yelled at." Ingrid stalked away triumphantly. His father had put the kiss between he and Annie on repeat and was sitting watching it, holding a hand to, if he was human, his heart.

"Don't worry Vladdie! Rest assured, I will show this to every vampire who darkens our door! You will never be away from it! Isn't it good that I sent Ingrid and Robin to spy on you?" Vlad groaned.

"I should have known it would be you." He started his walk of shame up to his room, where a bloody nose was probably waiting for him.

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Robin was sitting on Vlads bed staring out over the battlements. Vlad stealed himself for the storm and walked in. Robin glanced at him.

"So you heard then?" asked Vlad. Robin nodded. Vlad sighed.

"Would you believe me if I said I made it up to get her away from me?" He asked hopefully.

"So that would mean you're not gay?" Asked Robin. Vlad nodded desperately. Robin edged closer to Vlad on the bed. He could feel Robins warm breath on his ear. "So if I were to say, do this, it wouldn't affect you at all?" Robin was closer still, they were almost nose to nose, Vlad was panicking now, he wantd to edge away, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it This was probably the closest he would ever get to Robin again.

"So if I were to kiss you for example, you would be utterly disgusted and run away?" Robin was closer still, Vlad didn't know how it was possible but it was. He couldn't help himself any longer, he groaned, grabbing Robins hair and crashing their lips together.

He could have sworn he felt Robin smile against them.

END

So was that a satisfactory ending? Or was it awful? If you were sick, I apologise profusely.

The joke was an absolutely awful one but I will say it anyway.

Annie Robertson - Red hair, glasses,

Ann Robinson - Red hair, glasses, absolutely F***ing terrifying?

I'll understand if you didn't get it or thought it wasn't funny, cause it wasn't! Sorry for the terrible pun!


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